Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You so much for Hannah,
Thank You so much for Riley Joy,
Thank You so much for our home and Your gracious provision.

Thank You for Your Word,
Thank You for Your Grace,
And thank You most of all for Your sacrifice on behalf of us.

Please continue to provide our daily bread,
Please guide us into Your truth,
And please bring Riley to You at an early age.

All praise and glory and honor be to You forever and ever.

Amen.

Laughing, Laughing, Laughing

I was sitting at my computer making work orders today when suddenly my mind flipped to our old video with my brother Tyler dressed as an (American) Indian. My mother said, "Look, it's my little Indian! Can you do a little dance for me? Hay ya ya ya hay ya ya ya..." And with that, he started dancing. But not the Indian dance you would expect, instead he started to hula dance... :-).

I burst out laughing hysterically. My boss was on the phone but I am sure he was wondering what was going on. I was scared he would think I was crying or something because as I tried to muffle the laughter it ended up sounding more like crying. And it did not help when my eyes teared up at the end. Even now, just writing this is making me laugh again.

Tyler was one of the most original and imaginative Indians this world has ever seen.

"Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis

You may think that I'm talking foolish
You've heard that I'm wild & I'm free
You may wonder how I can promise you now
This love that I'm feeling for you always will be
You're not this time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
As sure as I live this love that I give
Is gonna be yours till the day that I die

Chorus
I'm gonna love you forever, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I'll be faithfull
I'll be happy to tell you again
I'm gonna love you forever & ever, forever & ever amen

They say that time takes its toll on a body
Makes the young girls brown hair turn grey
But honey, I don't care, I'm not in love with your hair
And if it all fell out well I'd love you anyway
They say that time can play tricks on a memory
And people forget things that they knew
But it's easy to see it's happening to me
I've already forgotten every woman but you

Chorus

Just listen to how this song ends
Im gonna love you forever & ever forever & ever
Forever & ever forever & ever amen


I heard this song for the first time this morning and it made me think of how much I love Hannah. This is my new theme song for my love for her :-).

I Am Angry

I am angry. Not necessarily at anybody in particular, but just in general. I am tired and angry. Shane asked me to make a work order for a console (which of course I could not make because I did not have the information yet from the project manager!) and in that split second I just burst into flames and turned and almost smashed my fist into a nearby shelf... but instead just bit down hard, let out a deep breath, and told him I would figure something out. That is my brain right now. If I do not use extreme self control I am going to get myself in trouble.

More Than Meets The Eye

There is more than meets the eye to life. Unfortunately some have missed that crucial truth and now are suffering the consequences. So what are we left with? Pain, disollusionment and emotional scars. Unless the cover is pulled off, things will only get worse. And focusing only on one peice of the big problem just allows the parts to grow worse at uninhibited rates.

We need to search out what is hidden behind the smiling faces.

Too Much

I find blogging easy when life is not too full. During times when life gets too stressful and full I get overwhelmed at the though of trying to put it all into words. So that leads me to now, life is incredibly and deeply stressful and almost disturbing. While this is a point in my life when I have the most to write, I am instead writing this short post. Maybe I will be able to reduce what is happening into words some other time, but for now this will have to do.

We are in Florida with my family right now and today went and visited Grandpa Golden and his wife Georgia and they had an incredible little book of affirmations for cynics entitled Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr. While some of the book is humerous, a lot of it can not help but make me think and reflect on myself and those I know. I came across this one peice that really cut deep. It is far more true and reflective than specifically my family possibly realizes:

"I have no need to resolve the wounds of my past;
I am most confortable surrounded by a cloak of denial."