Sunday, May 27, 2012

Tongues

This is a controversial post, I know. But the reason I write it is not to stir up controversy, but to be honest. I try on this blog to be as honest as possible about what is going on in my life. What is big in my life right now, praise Jesus, is tongues. If anyone reading this is opposed to the thought of praying in tongues, please don't bother reading past here. I am not here to convince anyone of anything, I just want to share my experience.

I have been finding more and more over the last few years that I am a pentecostal outside of the pentecostal community. In fact, most of what I heard growing up about pentecostalism was negative. I had two experiences at more charismatic churches during high school and those just served to strengthen these negative views in my mind. But in the midst of it all, I knew that God can and will do anything to further His glory, including work through the gifts of the Holy Spirit. There was once in eighth grade when I briefly decided that things like tongues did not happen anymore, but my dad sat me down and took me to First Corinthians and explained that speaking in tongues (both known and unknown languages) is right in there and though people abuse it sometimes, it still remains a gift available to us.

That night stuck with me. I did not want to be part of what I saw as insanity taking place at the only two pentecostal churches I had ever seen, but at the same time I was interesting in seeing how the gifts actually play out in real life.

Now fast forward to post-college. At this point I was attending a church which left me feeling starved. It felt like a spiritually dry place at that time grasping to be relevant and hip by modern worldly standards. Hannah and I left there, looking for something that better fit the church we read about in the New Testament. We eventually settled on a Calvary Chapel church which found itself the exact center between "charismania" and traditional Bible churches. But even that was not enough. (We ended up leaving there in 2011 and are now part of a Spirit-led Mennonite fellowship)

Following some long talks with my siblings following a conference they attended, I began looking for more. I threw out the old labels and negative connotations and just began searching into the mystical realm of Christianity. That's where I have been for the past two years.

Now fast forward to now. I began online attending Harvest Chapel School of Kingdom Living in September of last year and just finished it this week. Wow. It was about our identity as followers of Jesus and our call to live like He did. This includes doing the things He did.

Flipping back to first Corinthians, let's take a moment to talk about giftings. I have before experienced in at least a small portion the gift of teaching. In times in the past when teaching, I have felt Holy Spirit mightily take over my words and speak truth out of me clearer than I ever could have articulated it by my own power. It was incredible. But other than that, I have not had much conscious experience with the other gifts, particularly the power gifts.

A week ago, Sunday the 20th of May, I felt an incredible impression that this was going to be a week of "breakthrough." I knew it to be Holy Spirit so I began reaching out for what he had for me. I had a feeling that the gift of tongues was going to be at least part of that. On Wednesday the 23rd I started jabbering. None of the other gifts come without reaching out to God, so I was reaching out to Him. I told Him that I was willing to speak in tongues and I was going to jabber until He took control of my tongue... and He did! I took some time to sit in the parking lot of a park nearby, turned up the music loud so I could not hear the sounds I was making, and then started speaking what certainly would have sounded like jibberish. I had reached out half-heartedly before but this time I felt something. It was not like the mind-blowing spirit exploding experiences I had heard of, but it was something. All I knew was that I was literally speaking another language and knew that Holy Spirit was involved. But it did not feel very spiritual.

I kept reaching out and then some more breakthrough came on Friday the 25th. In my car during break time at work I spoke and it flowed and it was incredible! In less than fifteen minutes of praying in tongues I was as fired up as if I had just left an awesome, long worship service. As I walked back into the Shop I was hopping and laughing almost uncontrollably! To my physical body it felt like some sort of incredible high. At that moment I realized that I was actually doing it! Holy Spirit was actually praying tongues through me! It was mind-blowing!

But while that was a neat experience, last night took the cake. I was praying in tongues late at night when I lost control of my lips. I suddenly felt like words (not just sounds) were bursting out of my belly (literally I could feel them in my belly)! The tongues I had spoken earlier had all sounded the same, like a single language. But this time these words started bursting out of me totally apart from my own control and I realized I was switching languages! I do not know if there are many dialects of the spiritual form of tongues (I assume there are) but what I realized was that I was being led into other earthly languages! These were not heavenly languages! For a moment I knew in my spirit that I was speaking some sort of European language, German I think. Then I watched the earth as a globe in my mind turn until I saw Asia and suddenly I was speaking some sort of Asian language! I know the sound of many Asian languages from my short time in Hawaii and I would not be surprised if it was Vietnamese. IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!

I could have gone on doing this for hours (and most certainly would have), but Hannah came out and I stopped so I could be with her.

So Holy Spirit was right, last week was a week of breakthrough. Praise Jesus! I now by the Holy Spirit can pray and worship in tongues... And it is INCREDIBLE!!! But I don't see this as an end in itself, I see it as an entrance into more. If Holy Spirit will graciously give me tongues, I know He will give me the others. I am asking and begging for the love and grace to heal people by prayer and the laying on of hands. Jesus said that sign would follow believers, and I believe! I am so beyond excited about what Holy Spirit is doing in me and I don't know if I've ever been more excited about the future than I am now in the midst of all this. Freaking wow. Thank you Spirit!!! Praise Jesus!!!