Trudging Along

Life is exhausting right now, to say the least. I had a feeling at the turn of the year that this was going to be the craziest time of my life thus far... and that has truly been the case. Between family, school, church and work I hardly have a moment to catch my breath. I cannot remember the last time I watched a whole movie or went to bed not feeling guilty that I had not finished enough schoolwork. In fact, it's going to be a major stretch if I am going to finish my classes on time. I trust that God is working in all of this, but I am just so incredibly exhausted. I seriously do not know what to do. I spend my days running at 100% and then when I have a chance to get started on school I cannot hardly hold my head up. It certainly does not help that I am working Saturdays now. But once again, I keep reminding myself: God has enough grace for this, God has enough grace for this, God has enough grace for this... if He didn't, I'd be in big trouble. But praise the Lord that God is God and never changes. He wants me here, right now, doing what I am doing. So regardless of how exhausting life is, I will praise Him still.

Great Day

Today was a great day. I was a little tired to start, but eventually I was able to wake up and enjoy the day. After work, Hannah went out to have some time alone and I had some fun time with the girlies. We looked at the new lift-the-flap Easter book that I got them. After reading the book multiple times and talking about Jesus, I thought it would be a good time to watch our movie about Jesus' death with them. Riley has never let us watch it all the way through (she gets upset when the soldiers show up in Gethsemane), but this time we watched the movie and flipped through the book at the same time, really emphasizing the events of that last week. Riley Joy was engrossed but Amity was content to just keep flipping open the flaps over and over again and did not pay any attention to the movie (she is much like Karis when it comes to watching movies). It was sad and hard to watch (even an animated version of those events), but I was most excited to get to the second DVD, which was the resurrection. So after Jesus had died, the camera zoomed out and faded into the credits. I quickly pulled out the next DVD to put in, but was unpleasantly surprised to see that it was cracked! Somehow the DVD had gotten stepped on or something and was cracked and unwatchable. It really stinks to watch Jesus die and not then be able to see Him rise up again. So we just talked about Him rising back up. But I hope we can replace that DVD soon, especially with Easter coming soon.

After putting the girls to bed, I had some great time with Hannah. We watched the Cosby show and then an episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter and had fun. Then we talked for a good while. I like her :-). So overall a good day and a great evening. Now for schoolwork...

The Best Medicine

I was just at a diner catching up on some reading for school. It is incredible how exhausting it is taking care of two children and a wife... :-). By the end of the day it is difficult to stay awake enough to get real work done. But that is what's nice about going to the diner every once and a while to study there. I'm able to stay awake and get work done rather efficiently. I had a great time tonight. I first spent some personal time with Jesus looking at Philippians 2 and then moved into Basic Bible Interpretation. In Philippians, I was blown away anew by verses 14-15 which say, "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world." I think we often underestimate the importance of having a good attitude. These verses do not say that you become "blameless and harmless" and "lights in the world" by living some sort of legalistically righteous life, or by having a comprehensive understanding of theology, or by having a perfect attendance record at church. It says that being a blameless light in the world begins with simply having a good attitude. It is easy to complain and dispute but then rationalize it away based on my circumstances, but that does not lead to a blameless life. To be a light to the world, we need to have a good attitude, whatever the circumstances. Do we really believe that God is sovereign? Do we have an intellectual belief in His sovereignty or do we have an active, living faith in His sovereignty over everything that happens in this world? The truth is that He is sovereign, so to complain and gripe over circumstances is really to tell God that He is screwing up. But God does not screw up. Jesus is a perfect model of living faith in God's sovereignty. He had more reason to complain and gripe over His circumstances than anyone else who ever has or ever will live, yet He was 100% actively given over to God's will in faith. That's the kind of faith I am praying for, the kind that is living and active in me, causing me to always have a good attitude in the face of any and all circumstances. It is when I reach that point, that I will truly be a light to the world. When people see that, they will be directed straight to God. Isn't that neat? Our witness is inextricably tied to our attitude, which is then tied to our faith. I never want to underestimate the importance of having a good attitude.

I really enjoyed my reading in Basic Bible Interpretation. Roy B. Zuck is a wonderful writer and he has a way of infecting me with his own excitement over the Scriptures. When I read his book, I always end up excited to dig deeper into the Word. I have read other books dealing with Bible study and interpretation, but none have had the same effect on me. Today I was reading about literary styles in the Bible and was disappointed when the chapter ended. The Bible is doubtless the greatest literary work ever created... but would we expect anything less from a book written by God Himself? I really want to read Leland Ryken's book on the same topic, How to Read the Bible As Literature.

But over the course of my time reading and studying, I could not help but notice a man sitting alone a few tables down from me. The Spirit put him on my heart, so I went and asked him if he knew that Jesus loves him. He responded that he was agnostic but used to go to church (effectively dodging the question). I asked him again if he knew that Jesus loved him. He responded something like, "Yeah, probably, I guess." He then agreed to let me pray for him so I took a moment and asked Jesus to work in his life and pour out His love upon him. I asked Jesus to give him guidance and direction and to reveal Himself in an awesome new way. I ended by reiterating the fact that Jesus loved him and asked Jesus again to pour out His love in Peter's life for His glory. I am trusting in Jesus' name that He will do just that and will work in this man's (Peter is his name) life and really grab ahold of his heart. It was a neat moment. It is so very funny that I can go for so long asking God halfheartedly to open up ministry opportunities in my everyday life, but then when I take a small moment to pray for someone that God suddenly fills me with the most incredible desire to minister to everyone I see. It's funny how God works like that. I have found that there is no better medicine for a mediocre Christian life than to pray for the people around me. It is one small way of showing them Jesus' love, but it also in a neat way connects me to Jesus' heart and fills me with a desire to continue doing more for Him.

So I continue to praise Jesus. Isn't He wonderful? I love Him so much.